"Now, in terms of whether or not it's possible to reprogram the kind of basic Russian D.N.A., which is a centralized authority, that's hard to do. That would be like me trying to reprogram myself to take my foot out of my mouth and shove it up my ass. You see, I'm used to having my foot in my mouth. It's in my D.N.A. , my American D.N.A. It's in the American D.N.A. to be just plain old batshit crazy. It's easy to get people to go along with you when you're batshit crazy, because they're batshit crazy too. It's in their D.N.A. too. They're Americans! "You see, when God gave us our D.N.A. for breakfast that morning instead 'Cuckoo Puffs' or 'Fruit Poops' he gave us Americans a bowl of 'Batshit Crazy', along with a couple slices of 'Toast of Stupidity'. The Russians, he give to them a bowl of 'Centralized Authority'. You get it? The French got...lemme see...what was it...oh yeah, the French got 'Snobbyfrogitis'...which sounds like a disease but I assure you it's a breakfast cereal containing French D.N.A. Once again here I am trying to explain all this to you. D.N.A. is scientific. It's somethin' 'scientific'. That means it has somethin' to do with science, which is somethin' I don't perfectly understand, but I come pretty close just by lookin' it straight in the eye. I am not a scientist, but I know what science is, and what it looks like and what it smells like. The same with D.N.A. It's just like Sweden, for example. Now, I'm not a Swedener, but I can recognize a Swedener when I see one in Sweden. When Laura and I were in Stockpond that time I turned to Laura and I said, 'Look! There's another Swede!' It's a gift I have. Just like how I know all about D.N.A.
"What's that?...Question over here?...OK, go ahead. Uh-huh...uh-huh...oh yeah, sure. In answer to your question, the Sweden D.N.A. is cold. It's a cold country up there and that's why God gave the Swedishers the cold D.N.A., so they could stand, you know, how cold it is. But then again, I'm from Texas. It gets pretty hot in Texas. Not everybody knows that. What's that?...The Texas D.N.A.?...Well, Texas is the same as the American D.N.A. In fact, I'm pretty sure that's where God got it. From the D.N.A. mines in Texas. I know there's one over there just outside of El Paso. They got these big trucks. I mean big, big trucks! A lot of demand for D.N.A. these days.
"Next question?...Dubya Dubya Three? Sure, step right up! I'll tell y'all about it.
5 comments:
Wow, scientific posts are going around, eh?
It all makes sense to me. That's the beauty of ale.
I love it when the Jackass-in-Chief gets all teach-y, like when he starts a sentence with "Y'see, what people need to unnerstand is..."
Your post is truly scary and hilarious.
DNA in Bush terms actually means
1. Did Not Ask
2. Don't Need Answer
It all makes sense to me. That's the beauty of ale.
indeed. I sometimes wonder how I would digest the world without it.
Neil, you channel bush amazingly
I always thought the breakfast cereal building blocks of life were made in the white house basement. A Texas mine is much more fitting.
WWIII, thank you America.
Post a Comment