Monday, December 10, 2007

SATELLITE DISH

Hello again, everyone, and here's hoping you're having a happy holiday season and best to you and yours.

Sorry I've been out of touch. Two minutes after my last post there was a knock on my door and it was Ole, wanting to go mountain climbing. I never could refuse Ole anything, because it was he who raised me, more than any single person, and so off we went and I forgot to bring my satellite dish. (Luckily, she was still here when I got home.)

Then when I got back the dog was pregnant and I've spent the last two weeks getting the nursery ready. Painting, decorating, hanging appropriate puppy pictures, and reading "Puppy Midwifery" and "Puppies Take Precedent Over Everything" and "Puppies Make The World Go Round" and similar heavy tomes. You know the routine.

And there was a wedding reception somewhere in there too, on the dark side of St. Paul. There were pictures on the walls, I remember, and the bride wore white. There was a full moon, and a car pulled up across the street and a bunch of drunken animals jumped out and started howling.

Also, I bought an old "rusty but trusty" pickup truck to haul brush around the farm, but the right front tire blew moments after I arrived home. I drove around on the rim for a few days but then it snowed, and thank God for that! Now I won't have to deal with that flat tire till next spring.

So now I'm home for the next eight weeks at least, midwifing puppies.

I don't know what kind of puppies they will be. The mother will once again be a "Heinz 57", and the father? Who knows. Maybe a "Baskin-Robbins". But I'm sure they'll be...

"One of a Kind!!! MUST SEE!!! God only made ONE of these!!!! L@@K!!!! L@@K!!!!!"

...which is how I'll advertise them on eBay.

PICTURE: Satellite Dish from the series The Golden Age of the Brassiere Collage 2007 Neil Shakespeare

7 comments:

C-Nihilist said...

Those puppies are adorable! Where can I get a satellite dish like that?

Larry said...

Nice to see the family growing in such a epic fashion.

enigma4ever said...

what a wonderful thing...a divine conception....
and I think your brassiere series is better than Victoria Secret.....

So good to see you....I will be waiting for the Birth Announcement....

Nava said...

How soon you abandon the slavegirls for brassieres.

Welcome back!!!!!

do you have names for the upcoming puppies?

Nava said...

Neil, you have been TAGGED.

Blueberry said...

I used to watch Captain Kangaroo and Liberace on a TV that looked just like that. As for the puppies, they will bring more on eBay if they have images of the virgin Mary or Jesus on their fur somewhere.

Daniel said...

While you've been climbing mountains, Neil, I'll have you know we serious bloggers have been carrying the world around on our shoulders, trying to bring justice into the world, stop WW3, get rid of Bush and Cheney, solve Global Warming, etc.

We have climbed no mountains. They have fallen upon us, forced us to our knees. But bruised and broken we have bravely carried on until you returned.

We are expecting big things from you, Neil! Don't let us down.