Friday, August 10, 2007

A COLD WIND UNDER THE DOOR FRIGHTENS BRAD, A YOUNG REPUBLICAN

Yes, the Log Cabin boys are shivering in their penny loafers out there in the Hamptons, for "the word that shall not be uttered" has been uttered, and uttered by no less than "The War Czar".

Yahoo News - WASHINGTON - Frequent tours for U.S. forces in Iraq and Afghanistan have stressed the all-volunteer force and made it worth considering a return to a military draft, President Bush's new war adviser said Friday.
Cue theme from "Dragnet".

"I think it makes sense to certainly consider it," Army Lt. Gen. Douglas Lute said in an interview with National Public Radio's "All Things Considered."

"And I can tell you, this has always been an option on the table.


When informed of this my Young Republican friend, Bradley, was incensed.

"What?! They want us to fight for ourselves? Well, I'll just have to pay someone to serve my time like they did back in the Civil War," said Bradley, 19-year-old member of the American Ruling Class. "Maybe one of those, what do you call 'em? Mexicans?

"Come to think of it, why don't we just draft ALL the illegal immigrants? As their reward for this service to Young Republicans...er, I mean, 'Our Country'...they should be given instant citizenship in the Republic of Iraq! Then, when their tours are over, and if they are still alive, they can marry some nice Muslim girl and settle down in that brutal heat with no running water and no electricity. They're used to that, you know, from living in Mexico.

"It's like Barbara Bush said about those refugess from Hurricane Katrina in the Astrodome: 'They've never had it so good. This is like Summer Camp for them!' And that's just how it'll be in Baghdad for the Mexicans. And not only that, but...POOF!...there's goes our immigration problem. And it'll bring the Catholics and the Muslims closer together too. We need more mixed-faith marriages anyway. Gawd, I'm brilliant!

20 comments:

Comandante Agí said...

and if it doesn't bring the Catholics and Muslims together, it will re-ignite the Crusades! Either way, there will be some entertainment value to the situation...

Anon-Paranoid said...

Yeah, they could send Romney's five able bodied sons to serve their country in a Humvee Winnebago and get some Iraqi votes for him.

God Bless.

Coffee Messiah said...

We ran into a friend of my sons mother the other day. Her son will be on his 3rd tour of duty any day, and has been told it will be for over a year.
These people are all fucked up! ; (

JM said...

Maybe the prospect of putting your money where your mouth is just might prompt the chickenhawks (I guess EITHER meaning works in this context?) to act more responsibly. But you're correct that the first response might be to buy their way out.

Nvisiblewmn said...

Why go all the way back to the Civil War for inspiration when there's the most recent example of Vietnam: I'm sure Bradley has a neighbor in the 'hood who is a doctor and can find some medical condition to prevent him from serving in Iraq or Afghanistan or Iran or.... Wherever.

pissed off patricia said...

Send the Christian soldiers onward first. They seem to want to fight them over there and all. I've heard them say it. I'm sure they mean it, right?

Larry said...

My money is on the lovely Bush Tramps whose idea of service, is which waiter will bring the next bottle of Ripple!

Nava said...

What a fine, caring and empathic lady Barbara Bush is. And, like mommy like son.

Ah, how blessed we are.

Blueberry said...

I can see it now... illegal aliens can be drafted, fight in Ira(q)(n), then if they survive they can be citizens and live in one of those leftover FEMA trailers (AKA "toxic tin cans")

Mariamariacuchita said...

This war has to end....why are we there??

a rose is a rose said...

i have a friend in iraq who was supposed to be home in APRIL. it's august with NO end in sight

windspike said...

Is there room for new advisors to W? As of now, we know there's at least one more opening in the Oval office...but that means you would have to take your vacations in Texas.

Aaron A. said...

Brad must be the head of the college republicans, those couch soldiers cheerleading the war by safely reiterating Rupert Murdock's garble.

sumo said...

Well...they only have their own fearless leader to thank for the mess over in Iraq...if they found themselves suddenly whisked away to the middle east. They all voted for him (though he cheated)...they can go fight for him.

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