In response to Mr. Draper’s observance that Mr. Bush had nobody’s “shoulder to cry on,” the president said: “Of course I do, I’ve got God’s shoulder to cry on, and I cry a lot.” (NYT)Poor God. He's got one wet shirt, that's for sure. For you see I, too, have been crying on the shoulder of God of late. I see George there all the time. In fact, we've joked about it:
"Neil! You here again?
"Yup. You too, huh, George?
"God's got a mighty soft shoulder, Neil. Big shoulder. Plenty of room for both of us. But...pardon me for asking a personal question...but what are you crying about? I mean, you don't exactly have the weight of the world on your shoulders like I do!
"No, but I do have the weight of George W. Bush on my shoulders.
"Oh, sorry about that, but admit it! You were hogging God's shoulder! You were CLINGING to it! Now move over. I got me some cryin' to do!
"Quit kicking me, George! Dammit! Well, alright, I guess I can cry here on God's chest.
"Not as good as the shoulder! And don't cry on His belly button. He gets easily pissed about that.
"Thanks for the tip. Is it OK if I cry on God's diaphragm?
"Sure, sure. But make sure none of your tears falls down on God's nuts, Neil! He gets REALLY pissed when you cry on his nuts!
"Does the salt get into the tip of His pecker?
"Ouch! That would hurt! Heh-heh.
"Listen, George, I don't want to keep you from your crying. Go right ahead and cry on God's shoulder. I'll turn my head the other way.
"Thanks, Neil. It's not easy for me to cry with you watchin' me. In fact, could you go, like, cry on God's thigh or something?
"OK, that's good, but how about you slide a little further down and cry on God's knee?
"Dammit! I can still see you down there! I can't cry if I can see you. Why don't you go ahead and drop all the way down and cry on God's toes?
"Way down here?
"Yeah, that's it! Cry on God's pinkie there. That's a buddy. OK, I'm goin' to start cryin' now!
"OK, George. Say, George?
"Yeah, Neil, what is it?! Can't you see I'm welling up here?! I was just about to let the floodgates open!
"Sorry, George. But I was just wondering if you could crawl up a little bit and cry on God's moustache?