Thursday, September 13, 2007

BOY SCOUT MARCH

"Be Prepared!"

That's what they taught me in the Boy Scouts. Problem is, there is no way to prepare yourself for your own stupidity.

You are supposed to recognize the mistakes of the past and not repeat them. Everybody knows that. And still, we do repeat them.

Hard to explain it. How can we be so dumb? Years and years and years ago we made the same mistake. We vowed we would never do that again, and yet we did. How do you explain that? Anxiety? Too much time on our hands? Despair? Thinking too much? Thinking too little? Thinking not at all?

Too much pressure? Too little? No humility? No perspective? No damn clue?

No excuse.

Of course, we just say that. Our excuse is, in fact, that we have no excuse.

Which makes it God's fault. If He would simply have provided us with an excuse to begin with...

But then, really, how much can we expect of God, eh? He's Mr. Excuse himself. He's Mr. Finger Pointer incarnate.

"It's Man's fault, Goddammit!" He says. "No wait a minute. Make that Woman's fault.

And, of course, he's been talking to George W. Bush.

Did you ever get the feeling that God only talks to people dumb enough to listen to Him?

10 comments:

sumo said...

Good parting shot at the end! Yeah...god talks to dummies.

Unknown said...

"he"?

Kevin WOlf said...

I for one am glad I do not hear the voice of god.

I also avoid the voice of George W Bush.

Blank said...

Mostly, it seems god tends to talk to crazy people.

Anon-Paranoid said...

No, no, no Neal.

God only talks to the meek and humble.

Satan talks to Arrogant Shitheads and Assholes like Der Fuhrer.

God Bless.

Larry said...

Bush only hears his own voice since he obviously worships what he thinks.

Michael Bains said...

Did you ever get the feeling that God only talks to people dumb enough to listen to Him?

Well, sure! 'Twas such that helped me realize, if'n I's gonna start takin' 'sponsibility for my own wee stupidities, I better get over the whole idea of their bein' a god whose fault it might be. After all, most of the good in my life I can directly attribute either to genetics (thanks mom & dad!) or to something I've done. Weren't no silly sky fairy involved in that stuff. So why waste time blamin' it for teh $hrubberies? The leaders we get are teh PEOPLE'S fault for not thinkin' more clearly.

Dang though. Really wish I would've read this before goin' out on the date I did on Saturday. Talk about not being prepared!

Hope the poppies are treatin' you well at any rate, Neil.

L8!

Daniel said...

Didn't you know that God is dead?

When he saw what a stuff up he'd made of the world he had a stroke. Didn't want to be sued by billions of unhappy customers via a class action, he said.

The Holy Ghost is running things now. He's selling things at discount prices. He's got a few misplaced brains. One's got George W written on it! Know anyone by that name?

Unknown said...

Love the last line Neil. Fantastic.

Blueberry said...

It's pretty bad when Cheney is talking and you think you're hearing God.

Whatever Bush is hearing in his head has obviously never taught him how to speak. Maybe it's not Cheney, maybe it's Homer Simpson (not meaning to insult Homer)