Saturday, March 15, 2008

LAST TRAIN TO KOOKSVILLE

"The president squinched his face and bit his lip and seemed too antsy to stand still. As he searched for the name of King Abdullah of Saudi Arabia (“the king, uh, the king of Saudi”) and made guy-fun of one of the questioners (“Who picked Gigot?”), you had to wonder what the international financial community makes of a country whose president could show up to talk economics in the middle of a liquidity crisis and kind of flop around the stage as if he was emcee at the Iowa Republican Pig Roast." -Gail Collins, NYT

Nero reportedly fiddled while Rome burned. But George isn't much of a violinist, so he has taken to tapdancing on the steps of the White House, doing his best Gene Kelly impression...

"...I'm singin' in the pain/I'm singin' in the pain/What a glorious feeling/I'm craaaaaazy again!

...and serenading the press corps with an extraordinary rendition of "The Brown Brown Grass of Home" (which most closely resembles that of a stone-drunk Japanese businessman during last call at Karaoke Night at the Kooksville Bar & Grill) all while the United States of America goes down in gas fumes, which is all we can afford anymore.

Pity the poor bastard who has to clean up when the fool finally falls off the stage. He has clearly cracked up, and I, for one, am seriously wondering if he can make it to the end of his term.

There must be concerned whispering going on at the cocktail parties of mental health care professionals in this country. Those folks are trained to see the signs. And yet no one has stepped up to help. No one has done a thing.

Doesn't he have doctors? Doesn't the president's annual physical include a mental health check-up? Or is the psychiatric staff at Walter Reed too busy with the PTSDs and the young men and women with the sides of their heads blown off from - as George in another recent verbal proof of his insanity described them - their "romantic" tours of duty in Iraq?

Isn't there ANYONE in this country concerned about our poor, pathetic idiot of a president?

I guess not. That's why I have decided, even if I am the only one, to hold a fundraising event for President Bush to buy him that much-needed ticket on the Last Train to Kooksville and offset the costs of his long upcoming stay in the Crawford Institute for the Criminally Insane.

I, along with the children from our local elementary school (who, in their innocence and wisdom, can see the signs clearly and feel sorry for the nitwitted narrator of "My Pet Goat") am organizing "Bowling for Nitwits" to be held here at the "Lutheran Lanes" the day after tomorrow.

It's short notice, I know, but we're going to try to squeeze it in before Doomsday.

APOLOGY: Once again I apologize for my long absence to the few friends who still check in here from time to time. The one thing that seems to help these recent headaches of mine is to avoid staring at this computer screen.

32 comments:

JM said...

Too bad that this rendition of "Singing in The Pain" doesn't entail a Droogie thrashing. Looks like we're the ones getting the crap kicked out of us.

Larry Jones said...

My own headaches are relieved by your blogging, so please keep doing it. Besides, it takes my mind off the Fiddler in Chief.

Montag said...

how about the other kind of 'bowling'?

medical marijuana for headaches and nitwit-induced nausea.

i say, 'Neil before nitwit.'

enigma4ever said...

okay...as a nurse I am prone to nagging...nut only people I love...

seriously....

I am so sorry about your Headaches....I did not know you were having them....have you checked your vision? and on another note I have a Migraine Friend who gets them...and after computing- so she got a screen filter- that filters the light better.....

and there is always accupressure....and acupuncture...and then last but not least...green tea.....always green tea...

take care friend...

windspike said...

Kooksville? Is that in Iraq? I'd chip in to get him there.

Coffee Messiah said...

Nicely done and what a mess, eh? ; (

Graeme said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Graeme said...

Neil, your posts make my day

Ahenobarbus said...

Oh I fiddled all right, but I don't like that name, "Nero."

Fragmentadora de Papel said...

Hello. This post is likeable, and your blog is very interesting, congratulations :-). I will add in my blogroll =). If possible gives a last there on my blog, it is about the Fragmentadora de Papel, I hope you enjoy. The address is http://fragmentadora-de-papel.blogspot.com. A hug.

Larry said...

In Bush's Utopia it is easy to get extreme headaches, but hard to dispose of them.

enigma4ever said...

I Hope you are okay friend...I think of you and check back here...I hope you are okay....email me enigma4ever@earthlink.net....take care...

Anita said...

neil shakespeare, i've been worried about you. hope you are ok. your type of blogging is very intense and creative and exhausting to be sure. hope all is well with you and hope to see you back soon.

Anon-Paranoid said...

Neil...

I see that your in the same boat I am at the present time.

Too much going on and not really in the mood to blog.

Hope your having a good Memorial Day.

Take care and ...

God Bless.

MichaelBains said...

Hope you've got some clearing o' the back 30 to keep you crisp, amigo. Miss your schtick.

Coffee Messiah said...

I Know You're Out There Somewhere - Moody Blues

Cheers!

enigma4ever said...

It s august...the 14th...still miss ya..hope you are okay....write ,,,enigma4ever@earthlink.net.....

take care...

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Boy, that MILF talks alot but doesn't really say anything. Hope everything is OK with you.

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