Friday, July 13, 2007

CONDI TO LEAD NEW "GOLF BRIGADE" TO IRAQ

Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice plans to combine her newfound passion for golf with her oldfound passion for foreign affairs as she leads the Swedish Bikini Team into the Triangle of Death to promote golf in Iraq.

"What Iraq needs is not diplomacy," said Ms. Rice as she modeled her new Donna Karan Civil War retro ensemble that she plans to wear to lead the Swedish Bikini Team into combat. "It needs golf. If we can just get the Sunnis and Shiites together on a golf course for a friendly round they will soon realize that neither side is Evil Incarnate.

She paused for effect.

"Evil Incarnate is that little round white fucking ball.

17 comments:

Peacechick Mary said...

Yeah but those cursed spiked golf shoes hurt like hell when she kicks butt.

Graeme said...

i'm sold

sumo said...

She looks perplexed to me.

Lew Scannon said...

And Halliburton got the $3.7 billion no-bid contract to build three permanent golf courses in Iraq.

a rose is a rose said...

are the kurds going to caddy?

Coffee Messiah said...

Ahhhh, sports will save the day!

JM said...

Glad to hear that Condi has found new career options. Hopefully golf (or modeling) will work out better for her than diplomacy has.

Larry said...

I would think Condi in a bikini would frighten away any potential terrorist.

Montag said...

We'll have to send over some ball washers, too.*

*This joke brought to you by my inability to bring myself to type: "Condi can wash my balls any day."

That would have been a lie. I don't play golf, and therefore don't have any golf balls hat need washing.

michael greenwell said...

i thought they had had enough of iraqis hiding in bunkers?

Neil Shakespeare said...

That's true. The bunkers might be a problem.

Nvisiblewmn said...

I think she should give piano lessons over there, too, because music is said to soothe savage beasts and all that.

Blueberry said...

She has a point about the golf match. If we could manage to take away everyone's guns and replace with golf clubs it would sure help. That goes for the Americans too.

Iraq has always been a bit of a sand trap anyway.

Neil Shakespeare said...

Oh yeah. The music. You're right about that. I think a series of concerts by Condi in the evenings would help, after they're all worn out from golf.

windspike said...

What about chess...there's less watering of greens involved and it could be played in small spaces.

I've got a good idea. How about we lock OBL and W in a room and have them play a game of chess to decide who wins. Winner takes Iraq, and the loser leaves with their pals in tow.

Sounds like a more friendly way to solve things, and less ecologically damaging than creating golf courses in deserts, unless you like permanent sand traps.

P.S. Neil, I've re-blog rolled you.
Blog on friends, blog on all

Nava said...

She can't just walk around like this in the golf fields. She forgot the veil!!

Daniel said...

Given the risk of being blown up, I think golf played in the underground bunker system could be the way to go. It would be cool, the rock would never need mowing, the balls could never get lost (even Condi's - yes, that's what I meant) and there'd be no bloody birdies!

Cheers!